Harlow Kay's Birth Story

In case you didn’t know, I had a baby!! 🤪 This past year or so has been so hard and weird that I didn’t really share much on social media. But she’s here and we are totally in love. She’s so so sweet and we don’t remember life before her.

Going into this labor, I had a lot of concerns and anxieties. My birth story with Camden was actually pretty traumatic. I labored at home with a doula, and it was exactly what I envisioned and wanted (as much as you can envision how labor will go! haha), but once we got to the hospital it was complete chaos. I got there and had Cam 30 minutes later. However, he was sunny side up and his heart rate was dropping, so they were manually turning him between each contraction to try to get him in a good position to get out. They had to use a vacuum and I ended up with a fourth degree tear. I hated that I had ZERO control over what they were doing to my body (I know it was medically necessary) and I felt violated. Not to mention it was incredibly, incredibly painful. Really, I should have gone to counseling to work through that trauma, but with a pandemic and with me being lazy, it didn’t happen. So going into this labor, I had a lot of concerns about what my hospital experience would be like, how the nurses and OB would treat me, and the potential for tearing again (FYI, having a fourth degree tear increases your risk of having another, which significantly increases your risk for having fecal incontinence. Um, no thank you). I also had worries about when I would go into labor, how quickly I would progress, and who would take care of Camden. My biggest fear was going into labor in the middle of the night and asking my mom to come too late and then me having a chaotic story like last time. I also was so concerned that Cam would wake up in the morning with us gone. My heart broke thinking about him feeling afraid or abandoned.

Girlfriend was making things very uncomfortable for my organs...haha

With Camden, I had symphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD) and it got really bad those last few weeks of pregnancy. I actually had it again this pregnancy, but it kicked in at week 14. I started going to pelvic floor PT and seeing a chiropractor and noticed a HUGE difference. I couldn’t go for walks or do certain exercises, but I felt really supported and strong by the functional exercise I did. Despite mild recurring nausea, acid reflux, and fatigue, overall I felt pretty good and had a healthy pregnancy. However, I did notice the palm of my left hand started itching at night around 26-27 weeks. I thought it was probably some random, harmless symptom of pregnancy and decided to google it. I found out that it can actually be a symptom of a serious condition called cholestasis. Basically, in pregnancy, you can have issues with your liver that lead to increased bile acids/salts in the blood that can then cause random fetal death. If you’re diagnosed with it, they have to do regular monitoring, medications, and induction at 36 weeks. I got tested for it at 27 weeks, but randomly that week my palm wasn’t itching, and the labs came back normal. The itching would come and go and it was pretty concerning to me based off of other people’s stories I read. Throughout my pregnancy I prayed for the health of sweet Harlow and for wisdom to know if I needed to bring it up again. I mentioned it again around 36 weeks, but since it was mild and only in one hand, my OB didn’t think it was anything. It continued to weigh on my mind, so I eventually called about it and they ordered labs. Something about this lab requires them to send it out, so it takes about a week to get the results back. I finally called on Monday, Feb 8th to see if they had gotten my lab results back and they called me 30 minutes before their office closed saying that they wanted me to come in the next morning for an ultrasound and to talk to my OB about the lab results. I asked if I was going to be induced and if I should have my mom come to town, but they told me they couldn’t tell me anything over the phone. How frustrating! And it really caused me to worry about the health and safety of my baby girl.  

I went to see my OB at 9:30 Tuesday morning, fully expecting to be induced, but also hoping that I didn’t have cholestasis. Because of my appointment, I had Camden go over to a neighbor’s house to play while I was gone. Thankfully my neighbor was prepared to have him there for several hours if I did need to get induced. At my appointment, the ultrasound looked normal, but my OB told me my labs were elevated and that we needed to get Harlow out. When I was there, she checked me and I was actually at a 4 and 85-90% effaced (I had been at a 3 since 37 weeks). She knew I didn’t want to get pitocin and preferred to have an unmedicated birth (preferred is a deceptive word—I WANTED the epidural, but I wanted to reduce my risk of tearing) so she told me that since my body was already preparing, that she thought breaking my water would naturally induce labor. I called my mom to have her drive up here and headed home to pick up Isaac and our hospital bags as well as to tell Camden bye. It was an emotional goodbye for me, but he had no cares in the world. We got to the hospital at 11:15 and got settled into our deliver room. And then we sat. For two hours. 🤣 Had I known, I totally would have eaten lunch before!! Home girl was getting really hungry before it even began!

Waiting to have my water broken.

The OB on call finally broke my water at 1:15 and then we just waited for things to get going. After she left the room, I started feeling REALLY lightheaded and started to black out. I broke out in a sweat and kept telling myself to “get it together”. 🤣  It hadn’t hurt at all (I didn’t even feel anything), but we think I had a vagal response due to me being nervous and anxious about it. Ironically, I was already having contractions as we waited, but I didn’t know it. Also, I think it’s really funny that I sat in bed and finished a book after she broke my water. Not at all how I envisioned an “induction” labor. I finally got up to go to the bathroom and that’s when I realized how. much. water surrounds babies in the womb. I couldn’t get over how much kept coming out. 🤪 Getting up and losing more water helped Harlow move down and get labor going. At 2:30 my nurse offered me a peanut ball and I sat and moved around on it to help labor progress. By 3:00, my contractions started to intensify, but were totally manageable. My nurse told me that the peanut ball would feel good until it didn’t and boy was she right!! At 4:45 I got up to go to the bathroom again and the contractions started getting a lot more intense. From then on, I had Isaac do hip squeezes for each contraction. It was at this point that I got rid of that peanut ball and switched to a regular exercise ball. We raised the bed and I would lean over the bed while Isaac gave me a hip squeeze through the contraction and then as soon as it was over, I would sit on the medicine ball and lay my head on the bed. Wearing the heart rate monitor and contraction monitor allowed Isaac to see when I was starting to have a contraction and then to know when it was ending. I could NOT have done it without his help and encouragement. We were such a team and looking back it was such an intimate experience for us. He would squeeze my hips and give me words of encouragement through each contraction. By 5:30 the room was prepped for me to deliver. I felt like the contractions were the same intensity as when I delivered with Camden and my body was shaky, so I was sure that I was really close. I finally had the nurse check me around 6:20/6:30 and I was only at an 8. Yes, that’s super close, by I figured I had to be at a 9 or 10 and about to push. I told the nurse I wanted an epidural. She asked me if I was sure (because I had expressed how I hoped to labor and deliver before it all got started) and Isaac gave me words of encouragement, but I was done with the pain and didn’t want to experience it anymore. She was setting things up for me to get an IV and then I felt more pressure and like I could push. The nurse wanted to check me again and this time I was at a 10 and fully effaced (yes, like 5 minutes later). She told me I didn’t have time for the epidural and was ready to push. I was SO MAD I didn’t get the epidural 30 minutes earlier! Haha. I pushed once on my hands and knees while Isaac gave me a hip squeeze and then someone asked if I wanted to roll over on my back. I remember not wanting to move because I wanted Isaac to continue hip squeezes (which obviously isn’t possible if I was on my back, but also not doable during pushing either haha), but that I also just wanted to get it all over with and couldn’t make a decision. I remember hearing my nurse tell them to just leave me where I was. I pushed again and could feel the ring of fire as her head started to come out. I didn’t want to experience another contraction because they were so intense, but I also wanted to get her out so that the burning would stop. It was such a strange experience! I pushed about two more times and felt her head release and heard the medical staff telling me to continue pushing her shoulders out. Once her shoulders were out the rest was a breeze. She was born at 6:44 pm and was 21 inches and weighed 8 lb 3 oz. 

I was SO SO thankful for the experience I had and for how the Lord orchestrated everything. I thought an induction would be the worst possible scenario, but it allowed for us to set up child care and not have to figure out when I needed to get to the hospital. I was worried about being on continuous monitoring and it was not an issue at all. I was worried labor might be suuuper long, but was only 5.5 hours. I was afraid the medical staff might pressure me into doing something I didn’t want to, but our nurses were incredibly supportive of how I wanted to labor and deliver and then advocated for me pushing in the position I wanted to when I wasn’t able to advocate for myself. I was terrified I might tear badly again and I ended up with only a first degree tear. I was concerned about the health of Harlow and she was born perfectly healthy. It was 100% the Lord’s provision for us. Our story is not at all how I would have planned, but now looking back, I can see how His plan was far better than my own. 

We’ve been resting and healing and getting into the groove of being a family of 4. We’re so thankful!

6 Things I'm Loving Lately

Hello hello, friends!! What has everyone been up to? Life has been a little crazy on our end and I feel like I’m treading water to keep my head above. But it’s also been really good, and I feel like fall (or has the weather decided it’s already winter??) has been really refreshing for my heart and mind. I wanted to post something fun with a few of the things I’ve really been enjoying lately. I originally was going to share, but I just had to include all six!…So here you go!

1. This white chicken chili from Fit Foodie Finds. I have a really random, but prominent memory of eating white chicken chili with tortilla chips and cheese in a styrofoam bowl in the the hallway of a school during my brother’s basketball game. My family couldn’t afford to eat out, so my mom would prep food in a crockpot and bring all the necessary accompaniments so that we could eat dinner on game nights. She is such a rockstar.

My mom’s recipe is super delicious, but I came across this recipe on instagram and really wanted to try it out. It did NOT disappoint. It’s super hearty, filling, and delicious. Anyone else love hominy? Just me?

2. Candles on cold, dark mornings. Candles just make everything cozy, am I right?! Last year I had a candle that smelled so so good from Bath and Body Works. Unfortunately, they no longer make that scent and when I looked it up on Amazon, they were like $27…for a candle. So instead, I’ve been enjoying a woodwick candle (again, crackling candle=cozy).

3. My new rug. I’m horrible at making decisions, especially when money is involved. I had been eyeing this rug for several weeks/months and couldn’t decide if I should buy it or not. I saw an ad on facebook marketplace for THE perfect coffee table (it was a round marble top table with gold legs 😍) and it was on a similar looking rug, which confirmed that I needed this rug. I got the rug, but the table sold too quickly. For those interested, I got it from RugsUSA.

4. Cleaning my sink more regularly. Let’s be honest, cleaning my house isn’t my strength. Like at all. Both ImmaEatThat and The Real Life RD recommended this website. She had a clean your sink every night challenge, but that’s just not realistic for me. I’ve been using her sink scrub “recipe” a few nights a week and it makes me feel so clean and put together! Maybe one day I’ll be able to clean it every night, but that day is not today.

5. French toast with sourdough bread. I’ve lived the last 29 years thinking I didn’t like french toast. But the other day, I offered it as an option for breakfast to Isaac (to be polite, but secretly hoping he didn’t choose it) and that’s what he chose. I considered making something else for myself, but decided to try it. Oh. My. Goodness. I was so so wrong about french toast—it’s delicious. I just scramble an egg with milk and cinnamon and then dip the bread in it until it’s soaked all the way through and then cook it on a greased/buttered skillet. I then top it with peanut butter, banana, and syrup. Yum!!

6. Interior Design Masters on Netflix. I stumbled upon this show and absolutely LOVE it! It’s a competition with various individual and group challenges to design rooms, retreats, shops, etc in two days and each week, someone is kicked off the show. I love seeing the transformations, the interactions between the contestants, and the British accents.

I hope you find some inspiration in the things I’ve been enjoying lately. I’d love to hear from you—what are YOU enjoying??

30 week pregnancy update

Goodness! It's been 10 weeks since my last pregnancy update. It's crazy (and terrifying--we have so much to do before he comes) to me how quickly this pregnancy is going. But I'm also thankful we aren't pregnant for 22 months like elephants, my poor body wouldn't be able to handle it 😂.

This past Saturday I hit the 30 week mark as well as had my first baby shower. My sweet friend (and fellow RD), Aubrey, offered to throw me a baby shower in Tulsa. I know how much of an undertaking it is, so I was incredibly grateful for her desire and willingness to put it together to celebrate our baby boy. She, along with 3 other wonderful friends, threw me a beautiful book-themed baby shower. My friend Kayla had to have put soooo much time and effort into all the decorations. Aren't they the cutest?? 

I had a hodge podge of important people in my life (church friends, best friend's mom, realtor, etc) come to the shower. Isaac and I are so grateful for loving and supportive friends who are celebrating with us and also providing us with necessary things for our little one. There's no way we could do this without the support of everyone around us. 

My wonderful hostesses

My mom on the left and my MIL on the right.

I realize as I'm typing this that I haven't announced Baby's name yet to you all. I had THE hardest time committing to a name. We had this one picked out for quite awhile and had no other names in the running, but I was having major commitment issues 🙈. But we finally made the decision and are really happy with it. Sooooo...Baby boy's name is....Camden James. We both really liked the name James as a middle name because it flowed with so many other names we liked. When we realized that both of us have a grandpa with the name, it just seemed fitting that we would honor both of them through choosing it. And although we've picked out a name that we both like, I'm having a hard time switching his name to Cam in my brain instead of "Baby" haha.

Other updates: Baby is healthy and growing like a weed, as is my belly! Because of all of the growth, the past few weeks have become pretty uncomfortable. My lower belly and back hurt pretty badly by the end of the day. So I'm trying to take care of myself by modifying exercise, stretching out, wearing a support band, and getting realigned by a chiropractor friend. Like I said, it's a good thing I'm only going to be pregnant 9ish months. 

Isaac and I are almost finished with the kitchen, which is something that has taken FAR too long. But with Cam on his way, it's provided the kick in the pants we needed. Here's a sneak peak of part of it (we aren't going to get all new appliances just yet...we're going to buy them as we can).

Work on Cam's nursery has just started. Guys, we're the WORST!! Most people start working on their nursery before 20 weeks...but at least we're starting, right?? People have asked if we have a theme, but honestly I have no vision. Um, our theme is "whatever I see that I think is cute??" My brother and sister-in-law bought us triangle shelves and I am SO STOKED to get them up on the wall. They are the cutest (and made by some friends of ours). We bought a white wooden crib for suuuper cheap at an estate sale and family friends gave us a white wooden changing table. So it's coming together one piece at a time!

Welp, that's about it for now. Excited and nervous for what the next 10is weeks have in store for us!