Thoughts on Overeating on Thanksgiving

Dreading Thanksgiving tomorrow? I can relate. Maybe family dynamics are difficult and bring pain. Maybe you have no family to celebrate with tomorrow (I am so so sorry if this is your circumstance). Maybe you’re afraid of how to navigate conversations around food and body. Maybe you’re terrified about all of the food that’s going to be available. Or maybe you’re already dreading the shame and guilt you foresee yourself experiencing. For me, Thanksgiving (and any food gathering) brought on so much anxiety, shame, and guilt.

I remember one Thanksgiving in particular that we spent with my sister’s in-laws. The morning of, I bathed the day in prayer, asking the Lord to give me discipline around the food that was going to be there. I asked him to help me focus on the people and conversations instead of the food available. I begged him to help me put food in the “proper” place and to eat until comfortably full instead of stuffed. And don’t get me wrong, these are not wrong prayers; in fact, I think they are wonderful in the right context. But I fundamentally misunderstood something—my overeating in these occasions was not due to a lack of love for the Lord or lack of discipline. My overeating in these occasions was simply due to the fact I WAS HUNGRY. I would feel so much spiritual shame and guilt about eating high caloric foods, desserts, and overall too much. What I didn't realize was that my body was hungry and wanted food and therefore drove me to eat too much on occasions like these. Food was an idol, but not because I loved it more than God. Food was an idol because I restricted it and made the size of my body the most important thing in my life.

So I want to encourage you about tomorrow. If you have been manipulating your food intake, reducing portion sizes, exercises solely for caloric burn, OR if you’re a normal eater, you may end up overeating tomorrow. And that’s OKAY. In fact, if you’ve been underfeeding, it might actually be a good thing (getting out of calorie deficit is absolutely essential for eating disorder recovery). Realize that it’s not some moral flaw. It might be because you’ve been undereating. Or restricting. Or simply because you love a certain food or were enjoying time with family. Give yourself permission to eat tomorrow, and to possibly eat until you’re uncomfortable. And then move on and continue to feed your body regularly and enough. It might just impact your experience next time.

Monday Musing: Social Expectations on Prental Vs. Postpartum Moms

Just popping in to share something that I’ve been thinking about recently.

Because I’m pregnant, I get a lot of questions about my weight, appetite, and food cravings. Yes, my eating has changed during pregnancy—I don’t want nearly as many vegetables and I crave a lot of savory foods over sweet foods, but I don’t really have any crazy cravings (other than the hotdog craving for awhile—I’m not the biggest hot dog fan) and the amount of food I eat hasn’t changed exponentially. Yes, my appetite has increased, with a noticeable difference the past few weeks, but it’s not a crazy amount (but know that this is my experience. If you ARE extra hungry a lot of the time, that’s okay—you’re body obviously needs more fuel. Hunger is not a bad thing) . When I hear people talk about pregnancy cravings, I wonder if it’s because of the social allowance that pregnancy is the one time in life you can truly eat what you want “without the guilt” (this is society’s view, not mine). I think restriction in the rest of their life and the social permission to honor cravings during pregnancy then results in going a little overboard. Because I honored my cravings and desires before getting pregnant, that hasn’t changed and I don’t have to “take advantage” of this time. I can honor my hunger and cravings after having Camden.

Then there’s the contrast in social expectations of moms after having their baby. While they are growing a baby in the womb, it’s perfectly fine for them to eat what they want, honor their hunger, and gain weight. BUT once that baby comes out, the expectation is for mom to start watching what she’s eating, to decrease food intake, and to lose weight. It blows my mind because once Cam comes and I’m breastfeeding, I’m going to have MUCH higher energy needs than I do now. Yes, I am growing a human right now, but he’s much smaller than he will be when he comes out and starts gaining weight and growing. I am eating for two right now, but I will really eating for two when he comes out. So why in the world should I be eating less after he’s born?? And in order to sustain a milk supply and feed this human, I have to have adequate fat stores, which means potentially not losing all of the baby weight that my body is going to lose until after he stops breastfeeding (I’m not putting pressure on my body to get back to what it was before pregnancy—I have no idea what my body wants to do after pregnancy).

It makes me sad that mom’s have the social expectation and pressure of losing a bunch of weight and getting back to their pre-pregnancy weight right after having a baby when really they need the permission and freedom to honor their hunger, respect their cravings, and have the adequate fat stores needed to feed their child and to take care of their mental and physical well-being.

P.S. If you’re a mom and you chose not to breastfeed your child or had complications doing so, I have no judgment for you. You also deserve to feed your body adequately, honor your cravings, and give it the time and rest it needs in order to nurture your baby and yourself.

And again, if you ARE hungry all the time, there is nothing wrong or broken about it. I’ve had days and weeks of noticeably increased hunger and then days and weeks of less. I don’t put judgement on either one, I just listen and respond accordingly.

30 week pregnancy update

Goodness! It's been 10 weeks since my last pregnancy update. It's crazy (and terrifying--we have so much to do before he comes) to me how quickly this pregnancy is going. But I'm also thankful we aren't pregnant for 22 months like elephants, my poor body wouldn't be able to handle it 😂.

This past Saturday I hit the 30 week mark as well as had my first baby shower. My sweet friend (and fellow RD), Aubrey, offered to throw me a baby shower in Tulsa. I know how much of an undertaking it is, so I was incredibly grateful for her desire and willingness to put it together to celebrate our baby boy. She, along with 3 other wonderful friends, threw me a beautiful book-themed baby shower. My friend Kayla had to have put soooo much time and effort into all the decorations. Aren't they the cutest?? 

I had a hodge podge of important people in my life (church friends, best friend's mom, realtor, etc) come to the shower. Isaac and I are so grateful for loving and supportive friends who are celebrating with us and also providing us with necessary things for our little one. There's no way we could do this without the support of everyone around us. 

My wonderful hostesses

My mom on the left and my MIL on the right.

I realize as I'm typing this that I haven't announced Baby's name yet to you all. I had THE hardest time committing to a name. We had this one picked out for quite awhile and had no other names in the running, but I was having major commitment issues 🙈. But we finally made the decision and are really happy with it. Sooooo...Baby boy's name is....Camden James. We both really liked the name James as a middle name because it flowed with so many other names we liked. When we realized that both of us have a grandpa with the name, it just seemed fitting that we would honor both of them through choosing it. And although we've picked out a name that we both like, I'm having a hard time switching his name to Cam in my brain instead of "Baby" haha.

Other updates: Baby is healthy and growing like a weed, as is my belly! Because of all of the growth, the past few weeks have become pretty uncomfortable. My lower belly and back hurt pretty badly by the end of the day. So I'm trying to take care of myself by modifying exercise, stretching out, wearing a support band, and getting realigned by a chiropractor friend. Like I said, it's a good thing I'm only going to be pregnant 9ish months. 

Isaac and I are almost finished with the kitchen, which is something that has taken FAR too long. But with Cam on his way, it's provided the kick in the pants we needed. Here's a sneak peak of part of it (we aren't going to get all new appliances just yet...we're going to buy them as we can).

Work on Cam's nursery has just started. Guys, we're the WORST!! Most people start working on their nursery before 20 weeks...but at least we're starting, right?? People have asked if we have a theme, but honestly I have no vision. Um, our theme is "whatever I see that I think is cute??" My brother and sister-in-law bought us triangle shelves and I am SO STOKED to get them up on the wall. They are the cutest (and made by some friends of ours). We bought a white wooden crib for suuuper cheap at an estate sale and family friends gave us a white wooden changing table. So it's coming together one piece at a time!

Welp, that's about it for now. Excited and nervous for what the next 10is weeks have in store for us!