First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! It blows my mind that 2017 is already over. I’m incredibly excited about what lies ahead this year while still basking in the joy of the holidays these past few weeks. While thinking about this new year’s time, I started to think about all of the pressure that has been mounting for how we are suppose to change and become a version 2.0 in 2018 (woof, that’s way too much pressure for me). It seems as though our culture identifies growth or becoming a “better” person only with becoming thinner, fitter, and healthier. Yeeshh, what a narrow view—and one that often ends in disappointment.
So this year, I would like to propose a different goal for 2018—not becoming a more aesthetically pleasing person or a food-pious person, but instead to become the you you want to be (or used to be).
Growing up, I was such a ham. I LOVED putting on plays and productions for family and friends. I thrived on attention. I was also super creative and enjoyed scrapbooking, making things out of clay, cutting hair (I had a life size Barbie doll head—kinda creepy when you think about it), building miniature towns from foam, and drawing. I was compassionate, and felt emotions strongly (I cried for WEEKS after seeing our high school’s production of flower’s for Algernon).
Somewhere along the way, those characteristics started to fade. My goofiness disappeared and was replaced with perfectionism and worry. My creativity was clouded by thinking more logically and analytically. My emotions were muted. In college I recognized how different I was, but figured it was normal to change as we mature and have life experiences.
However, as I go through this intuitive eating journey, I’m becoming more of who I used to be. My carefree nature is coming back, and I’m enjoying life a lot more. Things that used to rock my world, just aren’t a big deal anymore. I’ve been freed up to enjoy life without taking it too seriously. I’ve also noticed that I’m WAY more emotional. I cry during every episode of This Is Us (but then again, who doesn’t? You’d have to be heartless...). When people cry, I cry with them. I find that I now experience a whole range of emotions much stronger.
And all of these characteristics came as I loosened my control of food and my body. Letting go of the restraint allowed me to have less anxiety and just enjoy life without having to control every little area. As I stopped restricting, my brain stopped thinking about food all the time, which freed me up to actually feel things. I no longer numb or avoid my feelings using food/restriction. And it’s WONDERFUL!! I missed the person I was as a kid and am so glad to be back.
Intuitive eating and eating disorder recovery is about more than just food. It impacts every area of your life—freeing you up to live the life you want and be the person you want to be.
With the new year, there is all kinds of talk about becoming a better version of yourself. But what if the “better” version of yourself is actually the old version of yourself before you became bogged down with weight and food concerns? What if the better, more compassionate, more present, more available person is the one that is less concerned with looks and health? What would it look like for you to pursue that rather than what we’re sold all the time?
I’d love to hear how you plan to do this!