Monday Musing: Social Expectations on Prental Vs. Postpartum Moms

Just popping in to share something that I’ve been thinking about recently.

 
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Because I’m pregnant, I get a lot of questions about my weight, appetite, and food cravings. Yes, my eating has changed during pregnancy—I don’t want nearly as many vegetables and I crave a lot of savory foods over sweet foods, but I don’t really have any crazy cravings (other than the hotdog craving for awhile—I’m not the biggest hot dog fan) and the amount of food I eat hasn’t changed exponentially. Yes, my appetite has increased, with a noticeable difference the past few weeks, but it’s not a crazy amount (but know that this is my experience. If you ARE extra hungry a lot of the time, that’s okay—you’re body obviously needs more fuel. Hunger is not a bad thing) . When I hear people talk about pregnancy cravings, I wonder if it’s because of the social allowance that pregnancy is the one time in life you can truly eat what you want “without the guilt” (this is society’s view, not mine). I think restriction in the rest of their life and the social permission to honor cravings during pregnancy then results in going a little overboard. Because I honored my cravings and desires before getting pregnant, that hasn’t changed and I don’t have to “take advantage” of this time. I can honor my hunger and cravings after having Camden.

Then there’s the contrast in social expectations of moms after having their baby. While they are growing a baby in the womb, it’s perfectly fine for them to eat what they want, honor their hunger, and gain weight. BUT once that baby comes out, the expectation is for mom to start watching what she’s eating, to decrease food intake, and to lose weight. It blows my mind because once Cam comes and I’m breastfeeding, I’m going to have MUCH higher energy needs than I do now. Yes, I am growing a human right now, but he’s much smaller than he will be when he comes out and starts gaining weight and growing. I am eating for two right now, but I will really eating for two when he comes out. So why in the world should I be eating less after he’s born?? And in order to sustain a milk supply and feed this human, I have to have adequate fat stores, which means potentially not losing all of the baby weight that my body is going to lose until after he stops breastfeeding (I’m not putting pressure on my body to get back to what it was before pregnancy—I have no idea what my body wants to do after pregnancy).

 
What new moms really they need the permission and freedom to honor their hunger, respect their cravings, and have the adequate fat stores in order to feed their child and take care of their mental and physical well-b.jpg
 

It makes me sad that mom’s have the social expectation and pressure of losing a bunch of weight and getting back to their pre-pregnancy weight right after having a baby when really they need the permission and freedom to honor their hunger, respect their cravings, and have the adequate fat stores needed to feed their child and to take care of their mental and physical well-being.

P.S. If you’re a mom and you chose not to breastfeed your child or had complications doing so, I have no judgment for you. You also deserve to feed your body adequately, honor your cravings, and give it the time and rest it needs in order to nurture your baby and yourself.

And again, if you ARE hungry all the time, there is nothing wrong or broken about it. I’ve had days and weeks of noticeably increased hunger and then days and weeks of less. I don’t put judgement on either one, I just listen and respond accordingly.

30 week pregnancy update

Goodness! It's been 10 weeks since my last pregnancy update. It's crazy (and terrifying--we have so much to do before he comes) to me how quickly this pregnancy is going. But I'm also thankful we aren't pregnant for 22 months like elephants, my poor body wouldn't be able to handle it 😂.

This past Saturday I hit the 30 week mark as well as had my first baby shower. My sweet friend (and fellow RD), Aubrey, offered to throw me a baby shower in Tulsa. I know how much of an undertaking it is, so I was incredibly grateful for her desire and willingness to put it together to celebrate our baby boy. She, along with 3 other wonderful friends, threw me a beautiful book-themed baby shower. My friend Kayla had to have put soooo much time and effort into all the decorations. Aren't they the cutest?? 

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I had a hodge podge of important people in my life (church friends, best friend's mom, realtor, etc) come to the shower. Isaac and I are so grateful for loving and supportive friends who are celebrating with us and also providing us with necessary things for our little one. There's no way we could do this without the support of everyone around us. 

 
 My wonderful hostesses

My wonderful hostesses

 My mom on the left and my MIL on the right.

My mom on the left and my MIL on the right.

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I realize as I'm typing this that I haven't announced Baby's name yet to you all. I had THE hardest time committing to a name. We had this one picked out for quite awhile and had no other names in the running, but I was having major commitment issues 🙈. But we finally made the decision and are really happy with it. Sooooo...Baby boy's name is....Camden James. We both really liked the name James as a middle name because it flowed with so many other names we liked. When we realized that both of us have a grandpa with the name, it just seemed fitting that we would honor both of them through choosing it. And although we've picked out a name that we both like, I'm having a hard time switching his name to Cam in my brain instead of "Baby" haha.

Other updates: Baby is healthy and growing like a weed, as is my belly! Because of all of the growth, the past few weeks have become pretty uncomfortable. My lower belly and back hurt pretty badly by the end of the day. So I'm trying to take care of myself by modifying exercise, stretching out, wearing a support band, and getting realigned by a chiropractor friend. Like I said, it's a good thing I'm only going to be pregnant 9ish months. 

 
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Isaac and I are almost finished with the kitchen, which is something that has taken FAR too long. But with Cam on his way, it's provided the kick in the pants we needed. Here's a sneak peak of part of it (we aren't going to get all new appliances just yet...we're going to buy them as we can).

 
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Work on Cam's nursery has just started. Guys, we're the WORST!! Most people start working on their nursery before 20 weeks...but at least we're starting, right?? People have asked if we have a theme, but honestly I have no vision. Um, our theme is "whatever I see that I think is cute??" My brother and sister-in-law bought us triangle shelves and I am SO STOKED to get them up on the wall. They are the cutest (and made by some friends of ours). We bought a white wooden crib for suuuper cheap at an estate sale and family friends gave us a white wooden changing table. So it's coming together one piece at a time!

Welp, that's about it for now. Excited and nervous for what the next 10is weeks have in store for us!

Our Babymoon to Colorado

This past week, Isaac and I headed to Colorado for a fun little trip before baby boy comes (nope, still haven't decided on a name). We both really enjoy being active outdoors and find the mountains to be absolutely gorgeous. Our trip did NOT disappoint. :-) 

On Tuesday, we flew out early to Denver so that we would have the whole day to start off our vacation. We picked up our rental car and headed to Four Friends Kitchen for brunch. Isaac got a breakfast burrito that had chorizo in it, and I got the chilaquiles. Near the end of the meal, we switched--I'd have to say I liked his better. Chorizo is my fave. 😍

 
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We then adventured closer to downtown and went to Blue Sparrow coffee. A friend of ours owns a local coffee shop here in Tulsa and he suggested this coffee shop to us. It was tiny, but super cute. It was fun to see them selling our local coffee shop's beans in the store. Afterwards we checked out the REI in Denver and then headed to Estes Park for a few days.

My aunt and uncle have a house in Estes Park on a mountainside that overlooks the valley. Holy moly it was beautiful. And the weather!!! In the mornings it was around 50 degrees and only got to about 80 degrees. I was in heaven. Tuesday afternoon we checked out the town and then spent the evening with my family. Wednesday morning we packed snacks/lunch and headed out to Rocky Mountain National Park to do some hiking. It was tough hiking pregnant, but thankfully we took it slow and rested a bunch. It was COMPLETELY worth the hard work. We went on a hike that went by 5 different lakes. Gosh, it was so great.

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After hiking, we showered up and took naps and then headed back to check out the downtown again. Dinner was with my aunt and uncle (she did a GREAT job on meals...I liked having someone plan and prep meals for us!) and then we headed to one of their friend's house for fireworks. Watching fireworks while wearing pants and a jacket was a new experience for me! ha (Tulsa is in the upper 90s/100s right now). We even had a group of elk walk right by us during the show. 😂 

Thursday morning we got up and drove to Colorado Springs. On the way, we stopped in Denver for a second breakfast (our first didn't keep us full) and coffee. If any of you guys live in Denver, I highly recommend the breakfast tacos from Illegal Pete's. They were cheap, delicious, and customizable. I got mine with egg, potato, chorizo, black beans, cheese, and pico. Isaac got one with bacon and black beans and one with chorizo and pinto beans and a green chile gravy. We split an iced latte from Little Owl Coffee. 

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We then hit the road again and got to Colorado Springs. That afternoon we got groceries for packing lunches for the rest of the trip (it was cheaper and easier for us so that we could just bring them with us and not worry about the timing of meals with whatever we were doing) and then headed to Seven Falls. We hiked more that afternoon, checked into our little Airbnb, and then got dinner at the Skirted Heiffer. I'd heard good things about it and saw that it was on Guy's Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Meh, we weren't impressed. The menu sounded great, but we both thought they were just greasy diner burgers. 

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Friday we woke up and got coffee and breakfast at Switchback nearby. We split a bagel sandwich and toast with goat cheese and a blueberry/blackberry spread. Both were delicious! I ate mine with a milky latte :-). Afterwards we headed out for a different hike at 7 bridges (which thankfully was free this time...did you know you have to pay to hike sometimes???). By that end of that day, my body was worn out! We chilled out the rest of the afternoon and split dinner at Cerberus Brewing Company. The lamb sliders we got were 👌🏻. Went for a walk and ended our evening with ice cream from John and Josh's. 

 
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Saturday we got up, had coffee and breakfast (notice a trend?) at Good Neighbors Meeting House and read for awhile. (Side note: I read Bridge to Haven by Francine Rivers on the trip, and although it was heavy and really sad, it was a GREAT book.) We went to the pioneer museum for a few hours and then headed back to Denver for our flight. Outside the security area was an area with turf and games. We had time to kill, so we checked it out and found out they had corn hole, bocce ball, and badminton. We played several rounds of corn hole and unfortunately, I was not the victor. 😩We then headed through security (well, it was more of a slow crawl) and then hopped on a plane to come back home. Our trip was SO beautiful, fun, and relaxing, and Isaac and I are already planning when we can go back next with our family of 3! :-)

 
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Did you all do anything fun for the 4th of July?